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Spicy Next-Gen Xbox News

Posted by J.C. Wigriff on February - 17 - 2012

Speculation has been flying since Nintendo announced the WiiU last year about the possibility of Sony and Microsoft announcing their next-gen consoles at E3 in 2012. Nobody actually knows anything, but that doesn’t stop the dedicated “investigative journalists” at GameSpot from digging up some dirt. Yesterday they posted an article concerning the next Xbox that truly shows journalistic excellence.They reported that:

Multiple sources reportedly close to the Microsoft next-generation team tell Kotaku that the system is currently in development as Durango. Durango is the name of a city in Colorado, as well as a state in Mexico.” ~ GameSpot

Remarkable! The next Xbox could potentially be code named Durango, which also happens to be a city in Colorado and a state in Mexico. Being a bit of a sleuth myself, I wasn’t simply content to leave it at that. I did a bit of digging on my own, and found a list of other things called Durango. There is the:

Dodge Durango

Ford Durango

Durango Boots

The Durango Racing Team

Durango, a city in the Biscay province in Spain

Durango and Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad

The Durango Kid

The Durango-class offshore stealth patrol vessel

The Durango Pine

And the evil and notorious Durango Chipmunk…

 

 

 

 

 

 

From my investigation, I think that it is fairly easy to see what Microsoft has going on here. Obviously this so-called Xbox Durango will not only include Kinect functionality built-in, but will also include 4X4 capabilities, will be bound in leather, and with utilize stealth technology. It will be waterproof, designed with chipmunk architecture, and will be made of parts produced in Mexico, assembled in Colorado, and banned in Arizona. The picture has become crystal clear.

 

Of course, to quote Isaac Newton: “If I have seen farther it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” I would have never been able to make these observations and predictions if it had not been for the remarkable journalistic excellence from the GameSpot team. They deserve the real accolades.

 

This has been an opinion piece,

And everyone is entitled to my opinion.

J.C. Wigriff.

 

Categories: Miscellaneous

5 Responses so far.

  1. BOOOM!!! says:

    Man… I was really looking forward to Xbox 720.

  2. Athyn says:

    It’s about time for a new generation of consoles. At this point the hardware in a 360 is laughably obsolete compared to that in even low end gaming PCs.

  3. Glasses Guy says:

    Interesting… I could use the water proofing. My tea has almost ruined my xbox 360 numerous times. It would also be pretty fun to drive around on an xbox in the mud without getting stuck. My old one came without the 4×4 features…

  4. J.C. Wigriff says:

    I am excited about the “Chipmunk Architecture” personally. I can’t wait to hear more insights from the “investigative journalists” at GameSpot. Maybe they will see this article and put me on the team. Nah… I doubt it. I mean, I would never stack up. If I heard a rumor that the next XBOX has a development name of Durango, but I knew that I needed more than just that rumor to make a story… I would have NEVER thought to pad the rest of the story with how Durango is also a city in Colorado, and a state in Mexico. That is fantastic journalism.

  5. Rich says:

    I couldn’t agree more. It seems that GameSpot journalism has hit an all time high. It would be a shame if they weren’t recognized for their, as you put it, ‘investigative journalism’. About the xbox itself, all I can say is, thank God for the stealth feature especially if it’s going to be bound in leather…

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